startingmyjourney

March 19, 2012

What am I!

Filed under: Now Surviving — by alifefullofspice @ 9:38 pm

 As someone who has Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome I can so relate to this peom, but I also relate to it as a survivor of abuse. So much so I wanted to share it with others.

What Am I!
by DiAnna Fogle

Most times I’m tired, but sometimes I’m wired,
Most of the time I’m dizzy, so I try to keep busy.
My heart will race, so I concentrate hard to keep pace,
When my heart beats slow, I sometimes feel low
If I get too hot, I’ll collapse on the spot.
If I get to cold, just use a blanket I’m told.
Most days I hurt, and I’m not always alert
Today I can’t breathe; I’ll just continue to wheeze
When my body begins to shake, it won’t be long; I’ll begin to ache
I have pain in my chest, but may get better with rest
My muscles get weak, and some days I can barely speak
If I stand to long, everything will go wrong
Most nights I can’t sleep, most days I just want to weep
My glands may swell, and most days I don’t feel well

But each day that I wake and see the Sun, I realize another day I have begun
I know I will make it through this day,
With the strength of God I continue to pray
Lord Please make me strong, because in this world I know I belong
I have a life to live, and so much love to give,
I will continue to hold my head high, and every day I will always continue to try
To Live and Love and Fight and Strive
I am a POTS patient and I will SURVIVE

Live on and Be Strong
Peace and Love to All

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March 18, 2012

Mother’s Day

Filed under: Now Surviving — by alifefullofspice @ 8:47 pm

Today is Mother’s Day here in the UK and as a mother alienated from her children it is not a day I celebrate. But unfortunately I cannot escape the celebrations as they are everywhere. So I am going to try and approach this day differently from this day forward.

Despite being alienated I am still a Mother to 3 wonderful children. I carried them, gave birth to them, and loved them with everything I had from the very first moment I held them in my arms. No matter how long I am parted from them the love I feel will never fade it will only grow stronger and stronger. As their mother I worry about them every day and wonder, are they OK? Are they happy? Are they being looked after properly? Do they miss me? The questions are endless but I never question my love for them.

One day I will no longer be an alienated mom but a mom with her family back, a mom sharing laughter with her children, a mother welcoming her grandchildren into the world, a mom sharing happy moments and making happy memories surrounded by those whom mean the world to me.

I cherish this dream.

I live in hope that one day soon this will no longer be a dream.

It will be reality.

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