December 23, 2011

Christmas, No Thanks!!!!

Filed under: Now Surviving — by alifefullofspice @ 8:31 pm

As Christmas gets closer and closer I am finding it harder to keep my emotions under control and the tears just keep coming. So many people are looking forward to the holidays and spending time with their families it is a painful reminder that I cannot do the same. On boxing day 2002 I got to have my children overnight for the last time since then I’ve even found putting a Christmas tree up hard so much so I don’t always bother. When I met my husband Christmas got a little easier because I had someone to spend it with and he has always been very supportive of my situation. Say that this Christmas seems to be one of the worst I’ve had so far and I’ve never felt so alone. I’m trying to be brave, I’m trying not to let others see my pain and I’ll keep trying, I will. 


December 3, 2011

Giving something back

Filed under: Now Surviving — by alifefullofspice @ 8:43 pm


Last night I joined many others in St Basils Big Sleep Out. A Charity that works with young homeless people and also help prevent homelessness. For those of you that are familiar with my story you may remember after my abusive relationship ended I was homeless at 22. I didn’t know who to turn to for help so just ended up on a path to self destruction. I am thankful that eventually I managed to find the right path and build a more positive future for myself. Last night as I struggled to construct a shelter out of a box and a sheet of plastic in a car park in Birmingham I still felt extremely fortunate. I had access to hots drinks and food, security was provided to ensure safety, I had money in my pocket and if I changed my mind I could just collect my stuff, load my car and head home to the warmth and comfort of my house and be with my family. The young people I did this for don’t have these options and without the help they receive from St Basils you do wonder where there path will take them. Last night was my first sleep out for St Basils and I don’t plan on it being my last. If anyone would like to add to my sponsorship total then please follow the attached link.

Thanks Jo

December 1, 2011

Which is worse?????

Filed under: Now Surviving — by alifefullofspice @ 7:49 pm

Sorry I’ve been absent for a while I always feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster that never ends.

Despite the fact the I haven’t seen my children in so many years I have recently been able to get some information about how they are doing. I always used to hate the fact that I didn’t know how the were doing, if they were happy? Now I have got some information about 2 of them at least I am overwhelmed by new emotions. They seem to be doing ok but their hatred for me is extensive. Their Dad has always made out the what he is doing is in their best interests but how on earth can encouraging  such hatred in children be in their best interests???? I apologise if this makes no sense today but in all honesty my head is a mess!!!

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