July 18, 2011

Can I skip tomorrow please

Filed under: Now Surviving — by alifefullofspice @ 9:56 pm

Tomorrow should be a day for celebration.

Tomorrow should be a day for giving gifts.

Tomorrow should be a day when I get to be with my children.

Tomorrow will be the day my 2nd child turns 15.

Instead I want to skip tomorrow, I don’t want to go through another birthday where I’m not there to celebrate with my children.

Another day filled with the pain my ex has left my with.

Another day where part of me is missing.

Another day where people don’t know what to say to me. They are afraid to mention it for fear they might upset me. Will they ever realise that nothing they say or do not say can ever cause me anymore pain than I already feel.




July 11, 2011

It feels good to help others

Filed under: Now Surviving — by alifefullofspice @ 7:00 pm

In March I began training to be a volunteer with a Domestic Abuse Organisation. To start with I would be working on their helpline then I would be given the opportunity to apply for other post in the organisations such as working in refuge, outreach or even courts. A couple of weeks ago I got to start on helpline but only as an observer, this gives volunteers a chance to hear how others take calls from women needing support.

Today I decided I was ready to take calls myself and as soon as a call came through I was terrified.

‘What if I say the wrong thing?’

‘What if I give the wrong advice?’

‘What if I just don’t know what to say?’

I felt a huge sign of relief when it turned out to be just a general enquire rather than a helpline call. But it wasn’t long until I had another call, a helpline call. Almost instantly all my nerves eased and I got on with the call. I have come away from my shift today feeling so fulfilled. Now every week I’ve been stuck in rush hour traffic trying to get home after my shift and getting really annoyed at other drivers cutting me up or using the wrong lanes to get to the front of the queue but today I was calm, relaxed even. Rush hour traffic was as bad if not worse today but it didn’t bother me, I just felt so tranquil and uplifted!

I am looking forward to my next shift, I know it will be tough sometimes as the nature of the calls can be upsetting but I look forward to being there and listening to women in need and hopefully doing what I can to getting them the support they need.

However anyone who is interested in doing something similar I would suggest that you take care of yourself first as some of the stories can be a little to familiar and it wouldn’t do you or whoever you are trying to help any good if their story triggers you.

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