As Christmas gets closer and closer I am finding it harder to keep my emotions under control and the tears just keep coming. So many people are looking forward to the holidays and spending time with their families it is a painful reminder that I cannot do the same. On boxing day 2002 I got to have my children overnight for the last time since then I’ve even found putting a Christmas tree up hard so much so I don’t always bother. When I met my husband Christmas got a little easier because I had someone to spend it with and he has always been very supportive of my situation. Say that this Christmas seems to be one of the worst I’ve had so far and I’ve never felt so alone. I’m trying to be brave, I’m trying not to let others see my pain and I’ll keep trying, I will.
December 23, 2011
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startingmyjourney 
You are so honest. I do feel and empathise with you. Christmas is such a onerous time. I have actually given up trying to organise time with my children. Cause it was just too painful. People patronise me saying “oh you shouldn’t give up on them” in fact I have not given up. I will never cease loving them unconditionally. We alienated parents do deserve, however, to move on regardless and find some glimmer of happiness with our new life and new partners. For our partners sake too they deserve to have us. There’s no quick fix here. Sorry if I am blunt. I wish you well for 2012. My heart goes out to you completely.
Comment by matt335 — December 23, 2011 @ 9:20 pm |
Hi Matt
I do feel that I was moved on with my life, I had too. It’s unfair that we get judged for moving on, people wrongly making the assumption that we no longer care because we stop fighting the alienator and the system. I hope 2012 brings us happiness, take care. Jo
Comment by startingmyjourney — December 23, 2011 @ 9:40 pm |